Themself vs. Themselves explains how the correct form should match the subject and subject’s number, improving grammar, clarity, and identity. In the world, language shapes meaning, and even the smallest words can create big debates. This difference may seem minor, but it carries real weight in writing. Traditionally, themselves is the standard reflexive form for plural subjects, while themself appeared far less often in formal writing. Today, modern usage is evolving, singular they is widely accepted in everyday communication and professional communication, and themself is becoming a logical singular reflexive option that is gaining attention.
From my experience, many writers, students, and professionals stop to choose the correct form for a sentence. Style guides, editors, and linguists continue to discuss its role in contemporary English. This grammar lesson is about understanding the context, following the rules, and using precision and respect. A reliable guide with clear definitions, examples, and practical tips helps you communicate more clearly, confidently choose the right word, and write accurately every time.
When talking about two or two or more people, animals, or things, the traditional pronoun is themselves. For example, the kids cleaned the room themselves. In recent years, acceptance of themself has increased for a single person who may identify as neither male nor female. Alex felt proud after finishing the project, and themself respected individual identity, while themselves refers to a group. Remember, the best choice depends on the situation and the meaning you want to express.
What Is the Difference Between Themself and Themselves?
The simplest way to separate the two is this:
Themselves is the standard reflexive form for plural antecedents and for many singular-they sentences in formal writing.
Themself is a singular reflexive form used when they refers to one person.
Think of it like this. If you are talking about many people, use themselves. If you are talking about one person who uses singular they, themself may be the cleaner match in some contexts.
Here is the basic pattern:
- Plural subject → themselves
- Singular they → often themself, though many writers still use themselves
- Traditional grammar → prefers themselves almost everywhere
- Modern inclusive writing → may use themself for singular reference
That does not mean the two words are interchangeable in every sentence. They carry different grammatical jobs.
What Does “Themself” Mean?
Themself is a singular reflexive pronoun. It refers back to a singular person or entity when the subject is represented by they.
Here is a simple example:
- Jordan said they would handle it themself.
The sentence points to one person, not a group. In that case, themself matches the singular idea more closely than themselves.
The word has a straightforward purpose. It helps avoid a mismatch between singular meaning and plural reflexive form. In that sense, themself acts like a bridge between older grammar habits and modern inclusive usage.
You will also see it in speech more often than in polished formal writing. That is normal. Spoken English tends to accept forms more quickly than edited prose.
What kind of word is it?
Themself is a reflexive pronoun. Reflexive pronouns point back to the subject of the sentence. Other reflexive forms include:
- myself
- yourself
- himself
- herself
- itself
- ourselves
- yourselves
- themselves
- themself in singular-they use
Reflexive pronouns matter because they show that the subject and object are the same person or thing.
Example:
- She reminded herself to lock the door.
- They reminded themself to lock the door.
What Does “Themselves” Mean?
Themselves is the familiar plural reflexive pronoun. Writers use it when the subject is more than one person.
Example:
- The students prepared themselves for the exam.
The word also appears with singular they in many traditional and formal contexts, especially when writers want to avoid drawing attention to the grammar choice.
Example:
- If a guest arrives early, they should check themselves in at the front desk.
That version sounds standard to many readers because English has used plural forms with singular they for a long time. It is not new. The debate is less about whether singular they exists and more about which reflexive form sounds best alongside it.
The History of Themself and Themselves
English has not always followed the neat rules many schoolbooks teach. It has shifted over time, borrowing from real speech and adapting to new needs.
Early Uses of “Themself” in English
Themself has historical roots. It did not appear from nowhere in recent years. Writers have used singular reflexive forms for centuries, especially when they wanted to refer to an unspecified person.
English speakers often solved pronoun problems by using forms that sounded natural in context, not forms that fit a later grammar chart. That is why singular they survived. It filled a gap.
How “Themselves” Became the Standard Form
Over time, English grammar teaching leaned heavily toward formal consistency. As a result, themselves became the default reflexive form for they in both plural and many singular cases.
That choice made sense to teachers and editors for one main reason: it was simple. One pronoun form covered more ground. It reduced confusion in classrooms and style manuals.
The downside is that a singular meaning can sometimes sound slightly off when paired with a plural reflexive. Many readers never notice. Others do.
The Revival of “Themself” in Modern English
Modern writing has brought renewed attention to themself. One major reason is the growing use of singular they for people who do not use he or she. Another reason is plain clarity.
When a sentence clearly refers to one person, themself can remove doubt.
Example:
- Alex should not blame themself for the mistake.
That sentence sounds natural to many readers because the subject is one person. The reflexive form matches the meaning.
Is “Themself” a Real Word?
Yes. Themself is a real word.
That matters because people often confuse “not standard everywhere” with “not real.” Those are not the same thing.
A word can be real, historically used, and still be less common than another form. That is exactly the situation here. Themself exists. It has a usage history. It appears in modern English. The issue is frequency and acceptance, not existence.
Here is the practical distinction:
- Real word: yes
- Most common form in edited English: no
- Accepted in all contexts: not yet
- Useful in singular-they writing: yes
Language is full of forms like this. Some words sound rare but remain legitimate. Others are common in speech but get rejected by strict classroom rules. English is messy that way.
Is “Themself” Grammatically Correct?
The answer depends on the framework you use.
From a traditional grammar perspective, many teachers and editors prefer themselves for both plural and singular they. That approach keeps the system tidy. It also matches decades of school instruction.
From a modern usage perspective, themself is grammatical when they refers to one person. It resolves the singular-plural mismatch and can sound more precise.
So the best answer is:
- Themselves is always safe and widely accepted.
- Themself is increasingly accepted when singular they clearly refers to one person.
- Themselves may still be preferred in formal copy, depending on the house style.
In other words, the word is not “wrong.” It is just less universal than themselves.
When to Use “Themselves”
Use themselves when the antecedent is plural or when your style guide prefers it in singular-they writing.
Use it for plural subjects
- The team congratulated themselves after the win.
- The guests introduced themselves at the door.
Use it for collective groups
Sometimes a noun sounds singular but refers to multiple people acting together.
- The committee found themselves in disagreement.
- The staff prepared themselves for the busy season.
Use it when you want the safest standard form
If you are writing for school, business, or a broad audience, themselves is often the low-risk choice. It will sound familiar to most readers, and few will question it.
That is useful when clarity matters more than style experimentation.
When to Use “Themself”
Use themself when you are referring to one person with singular they, especially when you want the reflexive form to match the singular meaning more closely.
Use it for a person who uses singular they
- Sam should be proud of themself.
- The writer introduced themself at the event.
Use it for an unknown or unspecified person
- If someone wants help, they should speak up and advocate for themself.
Use it when the singular meaning matters more than tradition
Some sentences sound more direct and less awkward with themself. That does not mean every sentence needs it. It simply means the form has a job.
Themself vs. Themselves: Side-by-Side Comparison
| Feature | Themself | Themselves |
| Number | Singular | Plural, and sometimes singular they |
| Core use | Reflexive form for singular they | Standard reflexive form for plural they |
| Formal writing | Less common, but accepted in some contexts | Widely accepted |
| Clarity with singular they | Often very clear | Also used, especially in traditional style |
| Best for | One person using singular they | Groups, collective subjects, safest general use |
| Tone | More modern and specific | More traditional and familiar |
This table gives the practical answer. If you are writing for a wide audience and want zero pushback, themselves is safer. If the sentence clearly refers to one person and your style allows it, themself can be a better fit.
What Do Style Guides Say About Themself and Themselves?
Style guidance varies. That is normal. English style guides often agree on broad principles but differ on small details.
The common pattern looks like this:
- Many guides accept singular they
- Many still prefer themselves as the reflexive form in formal writing
- Some newer usage guides accept themself in singular-they contexts
That does not create chaos. It just means writers need to pay attention to audience and context.
What matters most in style-guide practice
For editors and writers, the main question is not “Which form is morally correct?” It is “Which form fits this publication, audience, and sentence?”
A newspaper may avoid anything that looks unfamiliar.
A diversity-focused organization may prefer singular forms that match a person’s pronouns.
An academic paper may choose the most established standard.
That is why style matters so much. Grammar does not live in a vacuum. It lives inside real communication.
Why Singular They Matters in Modern English
Singular they solves a problem that English has carried for a long time: what do you use when you do not know a person’s gender, or when gendered pronouns do not fit?
Instead of forcing a clunky workaround, English often lets they do the job.
Inclusive communication
Singular they helps writers speak respectfully about people who use they/them pronouns. That is not a trend for the sake of trendiness. It is a practical response to real people and real language use.
Unknown gender references
Sometimes you do not know who you are describing.
- If a customer forgets their receipt, they can return later with proof of purchase.
That sentence reads naturally. You do not need to write awkward phrases like “he or she” over and over.
Everyday usage
People have used singular they in conversation for a long time.
- Someone left their umbrella.
- Each student should bring their notebook.
Those examples sound normal because English speakers already think this way.
Real-World Examples of Themself vs. Themselves
Let’s look at a few clear examples.
Example set for themself
- Riley wanted to prove themself after the first setback.
- The artist introduced themself with a smile.
- If anyone can fix it, they can do it themself.
Example set for themselves
- The players congratulated themselves after the final match.
- The children amused themselves during the long ride.
- The employees prepared themselves for the audit.
Mixed context examples
- Each member should bring themselves a drink.
This sounds fine to many writers, but some editors will prefer themself when the person is clearly singular. - If a student wants to succeed, they must believe in themself.
This version is increasingly common in inclusive writing. - The crowd cheered as they saw themselves on the screen.
Here, themselves clearly refers to multiple people.
These examples show the key point: the surrounding context tells you whether you are talking about one person or many.
Common Mistakes People Make
Even confident writers slip up with reflexive pronouns. Here are the mistakes that show up most often.
Using “themselves” for a clearly singular person in a sentence that calls for a singular reflexive
Example:
- Jordan should take care of themselves.
This is common and widely accepted in many styles, but some readers may feel that themself fits the singular meaning better.
Using “themself” for an obvious plural subject
Example:
- The students packed themself bags.
That is simply wrong. A plural subject needs a plural reflexive form or a different sentence structure.
Mixing pronoun agreement
Example:
- Each player should bring themselves water.
This can sound acceptable in some contexts, but many editors will want either a clearer singular structure or a singular reflexive form that matches the antecedent more closely.
Overcorrecting for style
Some writers avoid singular they altogether and end up with awkward, stiff sentences.
Example:
- Each guest should check himself or herself in at the desk.
That may be grammatically defensible, but it is bulky. It slows the sentence down. Singular they usually reads better.
Case Study: How a Small Pronoun Choice Changes Tone
Imagine two versions of the same instruction in a workplace handbook.
Version A
If an employee has a concern, they should speak to themselves privately before contacting HR.
That sentence is confusing because themselves sounds like it refers back to the employee in a reflexive way, but the meaning is muddy.
Version B
If an employee has a concern, they should speak to themself privately before contacting HR.
Now the sentence clearly refers to one employee. The reflexive form aligns with the singular subject.
Version C
If employees have concerns, they should speak among themselves before contacting HR.
Here the plural subject makes themselves the clear choice.
That tiny shift changes the reader’s experience. It also shows why pronouns are not just grammar trivia. They shape clarity.
Which One Should You Use in Formal Writing?
For most formal writing, themselves remains the safer default. It is widely recognized and rarely causes friction.
However, if your sentence clearly refers to one person using singular they, themself can be a strong option when:
- your style guide allows it
- your audience accepts modern singular-they usage
- you want grammatical matching between subject and reflexive form
If you are unsure, ask a simpler question: Will this sentence sound clear to the reader without distracting them?
If the answer is yes, you are on the right track.
Read More: Play One’s Cards Right Idiom: Meaning, Examples, and Correct Usage
Which One Should You Use in Everyday Writing?
In everyday writing, flexibility matters more than rigid rules.
Use themselves when:
- you are talking about more than one person
- you want the most familiar form
- you are writing for a broad audience
Use themself when:
- you are referring to one person with singular they
- the sentence sounds more natural with a singular reflexive
- you want to respect a person’s pronouns and avoid clumsy phrasing
That is the practical answer. No drama. No guessing game.
FAQs
1. Is themself grammatically correct?
Yes. Themself is considered grammatically correct when used with singular they, especially when referring to one person who does not identify as exclusively male or female.
2. When should I use themselves?
Use themselves when the subject is plural, such as multiple people, animals, or things. Example: “The players congratulated themselves.”
3. Why is themself becoming more common?
The growing acceptance of singular they in everyday and professional English has made themself a logical reflexive form for a single person.
4. Do style guides accept themself?
Many modern style guides recognize themself, although some still prefer themselves with singular they. The best choice depends on your audience and the style guide you follow.
5. Which is better: themself or themselves?
Neither is universally better. Themselves is correct for plural subjects, while themself is appropriate in contexts involving singular they. Choosing the right form depends on the subject and the meaning you want to convey.
Conclusion
Choosing between Themself and Themselves is easier once you understand the subject and the context. Themselves remains the standard choice for plural subjects, while themself is increasingly accepted as a singular reflexive form when using singular they. Using the correct form improves grammar, clarity, and shows respect for individual identity, helping your writing sound natural and accurate.
